As part of its modernization program, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) announced on April 1, 2023, that it plans to propose a “Frontlog Rule” soon to eliminate and reverse backlogs, which have led to backbiting, backlashing, and backtracking. The plan is to leapfrog over backlogs without getting bogged down. The logging industry reportedly will particularly benefit.
Some said they were agog at the plan and hoped it would not become a boondoggle or pose logistical problems. U.S. Senator Chuck Grassley expressed skepticism: “How can you toggle back and forth between backlogs and frontlogs? Sounds like something made up by goblins. It boggles the mind,” he commented, squinting skeptically through his goggles. USCIS said it would take dogged determination, along with a backbone.
Some said they didn’t even know what a frontlog was. “Google it,” a USCIS spokesperson replied. USCIS staff plan a webinar on the proposal to be broadcast from Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg.
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- Excerpted from the blog, “Happy April Fool’s Day!,” by Ogden Gobble
- Lake Chaubunagungamaug